Chasing a Memory

Food Memories. Have you ever eaten something that was the BEST version of it that you had ever had? And every time you have it again, you lament that it isn't as good as THAT time?

I read a amgazine article about this not that long ago. The author had a tuna fish sandwich once when she was a child, she was abour nine and on her way home with her parents and they stopped at a roadside shop and she had the best tuna sandwich of her life. (To that I say "Tuna???" but everyone's different) Every tuna sandwich she had after that made her think of that one magical tuna sandwich but sadly, she was always disappointed.

I'm like that with two things: Spanish Paella, and my mom's tuna casserole that she made back in the day. I like to think that it's not the food itself, rather the memory of things that were going on when you had them.

When I was in high school, I traveled to Spain for three weeks as an exchange student. It was my first BIG trip out of the United States, and it was all very exciting. I tried all sorts of different things, observed different cooking methods, meals, etc. For example, tuna and artichokes are very popular pizza toppings. And it's not uncommon to open a Spanish pantry and find a bowl of eggs in there instead of in the refrigerator. But paella.....how delicious! Paella is basically Spain's answer to leftovers night. You can put anything in it, as long as you have saffron rice too. Common things include onions, shrimp, mussels, chorizo (a Portuguese sausage) and chicken. Oh, and plenty of spice and red peppers. Absolutely one of my favorite dishes, best of all time. But I think it was the excitement of eating it in Spain, the dish's originating country, that made it so delicious. I've tried to duplicate it at home, I've had it in restaurants, and well, it just isn't the same.

As for the tuna casserole....I've mentioned before that I used to get "stuck" on a food for a while as a child. My mother would make this homemade tuna casserole and I would just eat it up. I thought it was Chinese food, and I called it "Sing Casserole." It was tuna, cream of mushroom soup, rice, peas and mushrooms. Kind of adventurous for a little kid, but hey, I never claimed to be normal when it comes to food!! Anyway, I've made it since, but it's just not the same. It's not the warm, creamy deliciousness that I remember, I think because it's not a warm, safe, happy feeling that I get anymore from eating it. It was definitely the situation, my mom feeding me my "current favorite obsession." It's weird how this works. Brownie sundaes and plates of nachos make me think of college. Bread dipped into homemade sauce makes me reminisce about my childhood best friend, when she and I used to make "sauce sandwiches." Pineapple stuffing reminds me of my first Christmas with Brian's family in Pennsylvania. And lobster makes me laugh about one of my first dates with Brian, when I accidentally flipped a dish of shells and the next day found a lobster claw in my purse. :)

So if you find yourself chasing a memory, stop and think: is it the food itself or are you missing the surroundings?